Our Community/Life Group

{Nathan leading worship}

We joined a community group back in the spring. It's been something we've been wanting to do for quite some time. W is already part of a guys' bible study and I still meet with girls within the college ministry, but we were looking for something we could all do together; as a family. 

Community group is a bit different than a small group. It's a bit more informal, and we do a variety of activities. We also include the kids. Currently, we're working through the Jesus Story Book Bible Curriculum with them. There's a lesson then they're off to play while the parents go a bit more in depth. Really our goal is to do life together...to share multiple aspects of it, over a long period of time.

 We do a monthly dinner with worship at "the ranch", which is one of our families home. And we're hoping to plan weekend outings or trips together too.

We are the "slackers" of the group so far with only three kids.

It's pretty great to hang out with others who also don't see kids as a burden but rather a blessing. Most are even gutsy enough to have them all day long while homeschooling. These are couples and families that we admire and are encouraged to abide more closely with our Savior and soak up His grace.

And it's also a group that shares life's struggles with too...including a recent broken arm incident which meant multiple days in the hospital, parental rotations with the other kids, meal delivery, praying over the surgery, etc.

It's been such a great way to grow deeper roots within our church family.

Dinner Time

Some of the others habits we've got going on surround dinner time. In fact, from about 5:30 on, our evenings are as predictable as Monday mornings coming after Sunday evenings. There are a few 'musts' that happen during dinner and if either one of us forgets, E is always there to remind us.

{music fingers}

One of which being Pandora. We will typically play music from the time final dinner touches are being made, table is being set...all the way until Papa and E go into his room for prayers, reading, and getting into bed. For dinner, we play our "Jesus Music" or "Children's Jesus Music" stations depending on our moods. Caedmon's Call, Chris Rice, and Chris Tomlin make great dinner company. And we've since discovered this guy named Justin Roberts who does great, silly renditions of Bible stories for kids. A bit too catchy if you ask us though, because you'll hear us singing phrases throughout the day. We also love playing "Walt Disney Soundtracks" post-meal, pre-bed--think Mary Poppins, Lion King, Jungle Book, The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beauty...we happen to like the classics. Or maybe we're just able to get away with being old school still since our kid isn't old enough to watch movies yet.

The other habit we have for dinner time is reading through this mini book set. I cannot for the life of me remember who gave us this set at E's shower, but we are happily putting it to good use.

W will read through a story while we eat and E loves it. And they are small enough to sit on the cabinet next to our dinner table.

What are some dinner rhythms that are specific to you, either from growing up or with your families now? I'm always curious to learn how others do it because it's such an important time and can be so different, depending on each family's needs.

On Perspective.

{One of the perks of vacation: being able to finally journal, read, etc. without distractions! Here's a bit about what I've been pondering during my quiet times...}
 

About a month ago, a dear friend's world was rocked by a miscarriage. It was the fourth woman I've know since December to lose an unborn child. Completely heart-wrenching. Coupled with a run-in with my neighbors who had just returned from an infant memorial service {the two year old had drown in the pool while his mother was home} and I have been internalizing, reflecting and thinking since. Not just on the surface or fear-level: like refusing to ever own a pool or making a commitment to keep all dangerous and hazardous paraphernalia away from my children. Or to refuse to embrace life the moment I found out it's been created either. 

I guess, thinking more about perspective. God's perspective. Eternal perspective. This is one of the many attractive characteristics my girlfriends, Stef and Natalie, have. They just get it. And do such a great job of being vulnerable so they can share it with others and encourage them. Stef has been so open during the hurtful process of mourning and recovery. It's rare to see that kind of transparency and maturity. And it's beautiful. Most people, like myself, can easily open up AFTER the whole thing is said and done. When you're back on your feet. Feeling good. And all is right in your little world. That way, we're safe to only expose little parts of the nitty gritty without losing face.

When my favorite baby girl was 6 months old, Autumn fell and landed on her head. There was a period of several days where they had to wait to see just how bad the damage was. Life-threatening? Ability-threatening? That whole time, Natalie did not panic. She didn't self-blame or dwell in insecurity or guilt nor was she consumed with worry. She simply prayed and waited. During that time, she reminded me of what God's says:

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were non of them." {Ps 139: 13, 16}

Of course, what they went through was scary and there was a point when the nurse shared that their baby girl might not make it, before they did x-rays. But Nataile held fast to God's word. He had numbered Autumn's days even before her parents knew her gender or her name. There was nothing about this horrible situation that unnerved or surprised Him. I remember her husband also sharing the same perspective with me. That he was finding joy and closeness with the Lord amidst the nitty gritty. I was sad for them, but so encouraged by the way they handled the whole thing. It was evident that they had thick skin and a tender heart.

After hearing about the more recent losses of young life, I started asking myself questions. Did I hold that kind of perspective up higher than my limited perspective? Do I actively trust the Lord or do I rely on the health and stability of my family, children, or marriage to hold me up? Am I living as though I already have all the resources I need to face whatever sufferings this unstable life throws my way? Sure, I've had some horrible experiences, but what about the ones that rock my identity? My foundation? God never promises a comfortable life. Or even a happy one on this earth. The last bit of Psalm 139 came to mind...

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if here be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" {v.23-24}

So yes, death, life, children, family, marriage, worry, doubt, fear, health, insecurity, long-suffering...all these things are in front of me on earth. Some are beautiful blessings while some I wish to avoid like the plague. But all point me back to Him. The good and perfect gifts along with the sadness from the Fall. Point me to my desperate need of a Savior who rescues, forgives, loves, and endures the hardships with me. My need for grace and the wonderful process he does of making me new.

I pray that He will continue to re-wire my thinking amidst suffering and change my perspective. That he will help me to "lay up for {myself} treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust {nor death} destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." Because "where {my} treasure is, there {my} heart {security, identity, etc} will be also." {Matthew 6:19-21} And that He will help me be more transparent during those times of struggle and hardship...

Thick skin. Tender heart.
Thick skin. Tender heart.
....

Quest Fall Retreat

Our church's college/young adult group, Quest, hosted a retreat two weekends ago. We joined them for the fun and rejuvenating time in the foothills. Our small group book club has taken a summer break and we miss all the 'kids'. {I've mentioned our Narnian Group last year and this year--we were very excited to be starting back up this week at our pad.} We were part of the first group to drive up Friday morning to the Pine's Ranch. The last time we visited was a little over a year ago for a leadership retreat. 

During this past year, I've helped prepare and plan various events for Quest, mostly from the comforts of home while watching Ezra. We hope to continue helping out. Both of us love meeting with the students, mostly one-on-one {or two-on-one with E}, to help support/talk/listen about whatever is going on. We have really loved getting to know a lot of people in the ministry. 

On the way up to the Pines, we made a lunch stop at a mall. Apparently, this is the closest Chick-Fil-A and these guys we went with are in love. I was told CFA is the In'N'Out of chicken fast food. Ok, sure. Oh, and their huge variety of sauces is what puts guys over. Maybe it's a guy thing?

The lovely Moogs. J being one of the CFA headmen. But what really sold me on this mall was their family area...

This place was equipped with everything: breastfeeding stalls with comfy chairs, sunken changing stations right next to sink and soap, TV, and a microwave! Natalie and I probably hung out in here longer than we should have with a bunch of guys waiting for us. This mall clearly encourages spending all kinds of time here!!

We made it to the Pine's Ranch without a problem, thanks to W's truck. The last 1/2 mile is a unpaved/sandy steep road. After getting our room set-up and Ezra down for a nap, we helped out. There were about a dozen international students from Hayward who joined us on the retreat. I got the privilege to greet them upon arrival.

Matthew and I heading up the welcome/check-in table.

Bearded Boys

The house where we stayed in {view from the lodge}

Matt Pine {who's parents own this ranch and make it available for church activities and weddings} went hunting earlier that day. We got to taste some delicious duck right off the grill.

The weekend was great. There was tons of hang out time and our monitor worked far enough to the lodge so we could both join during Ezra's naptimes. Natalie & I killed at shuffle board. There were also ping-pong tournaments...

which Ezra and I just watched with our new friend, Brynn.

{yes, that is a bottle we got from the hospital. with sippy cups dirty and limited time for packing, this is what ya get.}

While a friend watched Ezra, W and I went to the shooting range. My first time shooting a gun. Can you tell this was really a man's man weekend? I so wished I charged my battery because it died after taking a picture of Gayle getting instructions from Mr. Cline. So I have NO proof! :(

I shot a rifle while sitting at a picnic table {beginners stance}. Not going to lie, I was terrified after the first person shot. I could feel the shot vibrate in my stomach. And got those hot chills. Do you know that feeling? Like something bad is going to happen. Well, nothing did, but it was still scary. W is right, with having a gun "comes a great and heavy responsibility." It's a bummer that there's objects out in the world that can kill a person in a few minutes. But then again, so can natural things like poisonous plants and aggressive animals. Reminds me that we live in a fallen world. And makes me long for the time when it will be made right.

After my first shot {which I screamed like a girl during}, I got the hang of it. I started to relax and focus on hitting the water bottle targets. Almost got 'em. I've already promised W that we'll head to the local shooting range soon.

That evening we continued looking at scripture compared to our lives: do we live by circumstances or by His promises? The theme was "living above the sun"...in that we keep our hearts set on things above, not on the things of this world. One area of conviction was that of obedience. W & I use to read the bible nightly before bed. Now we either crash and burn or waste time on distractions then leave little time for our reading. Don't think I've been this deprived of daily Bread nourishment in a long time. And in a time where I need it the most: parenting!! In the same way, our speaker mentioned checking in with what we've been praying for. Are we walking in line with what God's says about those things? That struck a cord. I've been praying recently for wisdom and direction over a few areas, but haven't really gotten anywhere. Some definite direction that I need to re-evaluate my heart and actions in some of those areas.

Besides great principles for thought, we enjoyed a beautiful sunset.

Meal time!

Amazing dessert time...and bedtime!!! We {the old farts that we are} did not make it past 11pm and consequently, missed the outdoor movie. 

While cleaning and packing up on Sunday, the girls played. I think Autumn must have persuaded Ezra with her new walking skills. He just had to try it this week!

Good times all around. 

Narnian Feast

W & I joined a college & career "growth group" over the summer. It was a book club that went through C.S. Lewis' The Magician's Nephew. We looked at biblical and life themes that are saturated in this children's novel. Each week, a guest reader would come and read the chapter out loud. We also read some at home. It turned out to be great fun and lots of laughs.

Last night, we celebrated the end of the book with a feast--complete with a delicious meal, costumes, silliness and good discussion. W went as the cabby who eventually becomes King Frank and I went as a symbolic interpretation of the tree, in the walled garden, that Digory picked a silver apple from to save his sick mother. (My belly being the silver apple, of course!) There was also Uncle Andrew, Polly Plummer, and the flying horse Fledge. The Fledge costume was a real hit! ;)

Precious

I caught W hanging out with the little boys during snack time at our 1st Nursery duty on Sunday morning!! Definitely some good practice & just plain fun! I got to meet some other moms in the church and had some encouraging conversations. We even met a visitor (pregnant with #2) who has the same due date as us.

Pines Ranch

We got a wonderful opportunity to get away this past weekend! For awhile now, W & I have been praying about where we wanted to formally serve as a team in our church. As Christians, we know we are called to serve in some capacity. Although we have been enjoying receiving from the body of Christ, we knew it was time to commit. So this weekend the youth leadership (middle school, high school & young adults) were having a retreat for those involved or looking to get involved. It was so awesome to get to know more people from VBC, hear & be reminded of God's refreshing truths, and make a commit to serve. And the place we stayed at was A.M.azing!! Truly a resort in the foothills!! Here's our room:I really wish I took more pictures..the pool & slide were so cool as was the ranch lodge. Everything was decked out in old western/country motif!! We are so excited to be committing a year of service to Quest (young adult) ministry. We both love the shepherding pastor's vision and method for running things. His wife is also due in November so he's totally understanding of how our involvement will change during the year, but we hope our little one gets the chance to be raised by a community-- not just us.

Very Scary Sunday

What started as a very normal Sunday quickly became a very scary one. We were in church when W started telling me that he didn't feel very well but couldn't figure out what it was. We were both sitting and singing the songs after the message, when he completely passed out next to me. He was leaning on the chair ahead of him when it happened so I tried to push him back into his seat to see if he would wake up.

When he wasn't responding, I stood up & starting looking around frantically for help. People were standing up & singing so I couldn't really point out who I should get to help us. Thankfully, someone saw me & within seconds a friend, who is a firefighter, was crouched next to William (we were along the aisle way in the back), asking what had happened. I had no clue. He quickly picked up William while two other guys (who happen to be EMTs) joined in to help. And I just broke down, doubled over, and started balling--kudos to my already hormone-charged self. Our friend, Megan, who was sitting next to me, grabbed me & walked me out to where the guys took W. I just couldn't stop crying. I was so petrified.

W was laying on a sofa in the entry way & had regained consciousness while being carried out of the sanctuary. Paramedics arrived really quickly, started taking his stats and getting him into the ambulance. Megan drove a very frenzied and fragile me to the hospital to meet up with him and my parents joined us there. We spent 5 hours in the E.R. where they loaded W with IV liquid. All the symptoms pointed to dehydration and after almost 3000 mL of IV, W was feeling much better with re-gained face color & all the talkativeness that goes with it!

We're both feeling better and recovering well. W was back at school today, although he didn't bike. :) I spent most of last night, waking up just to make sure he was still breathing. Silly, I know. But just thinking about the potential of losing my husband can still create buckets of tears. (No more tear-jerker books either for book club while I'm still prego!)

(Loads of fun pealing all of these off when your hubby is hairy!! :))

It was definitely a terrifying event, mostly for me and I try to get those early moments of trying to wake him up & looking for help out of my brain. Weird, how such strong images can burn into our memories. I'm also eternally grateful for those guys who jumped up to help us within seconds. God is gracious and we are fragile. One moment things are fine, the next they are not. I'm just so not a good person in these types of situations. I feel like I'm over-affected and overly emotional. I'm not good at keeping my cool. I'm totally going to be that "Debbie-downer" mother who "suppresses all the fun" because she worries too much. Gosh, I really thought I'd *never ever* be that girl when I was a teen. Amazing what marriage and pregnancy can do to a once irresponsible teenage girl. Now I have too many invaluable things in my life... too much to lose. I'm truly NOT in control. This simple fact scares me. Yet humbles me.

Movie Night

Saturday night we watched "Fireproof". And although either the acting or the script was pretty cheesy, we both really liked it and cried during it! I was balling by the end. I really liked how it showed a couple in the midst of marriage unlike almost ALL romantic films when they lead up to marriage & end the movie then. The couple's passive aggression conversations broke my heart. But, this couple does regain the romance after years of struggle, sin and suffering has worn them down-- only through true love...a love that loves unconditionally & with sacrifice. Just like Christ did on the cross. The message was great!! And the film respected the covenant of marriage throughout. I recommend this film, but beware of the cheese!

I've Been Served.

Yup. It's true. Today, I was officially pink-slipped (yes, it's a verb now). I received a notice last year, but, of course, this year it's much more doom and gloom within our whole country. And the education arena is no exception. Even the numbers at our site are low, so my actual spot won't be there next year regardless of the budget. So I have no clue where to go from here. I've been so thankful to stay at the same site in the same grade (quite unheard of for beginning teachers). Sadly, I'll be packing up my stuff come June and hope for the best. W and I have been praying for direction because I'm really uncertain about my next course of action. But we know that God is good, in control, and faithful...so... we'll see what happens!

Struck

I was really struck by this post from Tim Challies. Oh, how I am thankful that if we get the honor of having boys, I have William to help me raise them into men. He's really good at using his strength, knowledge, and ability to help others (thanks, Boy Scouts & Swenson Ladies!). And I see how truly a rarity it is in grown men and even my growing students.

Quite Premature, But Still Heart-Stirring

I fell upon a blog of someone I knew from high school youth group. Her Colorado family of three is going to be a family of four once they get their little baby girl from Ethiopia. They are adopting her and have waited over 18 weeks!! It's so exciting, although after reading their blog--it seems like such a roller-coaster journey. It is such an amazing story right in the middle of development! I was "lurking" around and found the adoption agency they were using. William and I have discuss adoption and we would love to at some point along our life together. So randomly, I searched through domestic adoptions through Gladney and just filled out a form to get more information. We know plenty of people who have adopted, and what a wild, unnerving journey it can be! It does scare me a little to think about raising a child that has completely and utterly different life experiences. They will come with an independent set of deep rooted issues. But what an amazing opportunity to love another. What a blessing from the Lord!! I think when the glossy romanticism is stripped away, it shines as a good, solid, and nourishing sacrifice. Just like marriage, something that won't be easy or comfortable, but amazingly delightful, satisfying, and overflowing with blessings along the way. A reward that is much delayed but hopefully experienced as they mature. 

I love how in her blog, Bre has already claimed this little girl as her own. She is Bre's child right here and now and she is her mother even though the little girl isn't in her arms. I want that kind of strong identity and conviction! What an encouragement to stand for truth and be solid in it!

So Well Put!

Mama Update

Judy has spiral meningitis. The hospital finally admitted her into the hospital after the second spinal tap late last night. I'm so thankful they were able to find out what it was, but what is was is NOT very good. Please pray for Mama Judy for this illness can be very dangerous. Thankfully it is the viral form which is less severe than the bacteria form. Treatment for the viral form is only directed at the symptoms, typically. Please pray! We are all very nervous and worried.

Please Pray...

My mom-in-law Judy Swenson is very sick. They, being the doctors, believe it to be some viral infection but they haven't been able to locate it in her body. They have completed many tests, including a recent CAT Scan and Spinal Tap. She's been under a great deal of stress lately emotionally, spiritually and physically so her immune system seemed to be down. Thankfully, some of William's siblings still live down in Orange County and have been able to get her to the E.R. We thought she was getting better early today, after going to the hospital yesterday to get re-hydrated--she was starting to eat, sleep, normalize, etc. But this evening, she couldn't stop vomiting and Ruth took her back to the E.R. The hospital wasn't allowing her to stay, but William finally got ahold of Judy's doctor who is hopefully working this out. Please pray for physician care immediately, that they are able to calm her body down, keep her hydrated, and get her the things she needs to get over this!! Lord, heal Mama!

A Great & Short Article

By Mark Discoll while he spent time with the amazing J.I. Packer-- a wonderfully faithful man & theologian. It's short, simple but oh, so good to remember!!

Here's the link to check it out. I really liked the 3rd point about godliness starts in the home. How so important is our spiritual condition inside our home!!

When Things Don't Make Sense

Most of us really struggle with the question of why bad things happen. I found this post & loved it's poetic response. It was originally posted on The Purple Cellar Blog--if you have never been there...go. It's under favorites.

One of the hardest experiences in the Christian life is trusting that God is good when things seem to the contrary. We pray and pray about a difficulty or perplexing situation, and sometimes it seems that, as a direct result of our prayers, things only get worse. What is God doing at such times? This poem by John Newton, called These Inward Trials," explains a lot:

I ask'd the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and ev'ry grace,
Might more of his salvation know,
And seek more earnestly his face.

'Twas he who taught me thus to pray,
And he, I trust has answer'd pray'r;
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hop'd that in some favour'd hour,
At once he'd answer my request:
And by his love's constraining pow'r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this. he made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow'rs of hell
Assault my soul in ev'ry part.

Yea more, with his own hand he seem'd
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Cross'd all the fair designs I schem'd,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cry'd,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
"'Tis in this way," the Lord reply'd,
"I answer pray'r for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ,
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou mayst seek thy all in me."