Wednesday, March 28

What's Up With Us

{I always have a hodge-podge mix of current things going on and don't really know where to write about them. They're usually too short to dedicate a whole post too, but not insignificant details that I just want to ignore them. So, in order to document...here they all are in one random post. :)}

We've been listening to Irish Rock on Pandora all month. After seeing a commercial on Hulu with a Flogging Molly song, W and I both discovered that we both love it. Makes me think of my trip to Northern Ireland and the movie P.S. I Love You. Plus, who doesn't love a hardy accent?

 The "ABCs" has now been added to Ezra's favorite songs that he belts out at random times during the day. He's got W's love of song with my tone-deaf ears...poor kid.

W and E have lots of games they've created and play frequently... "Wake Up" all started when W was trying to get more shut eye and E waking him up with a kisses. It's now become a game instead... W sleeps, E gives a wake-up kiss. They also have a ball game: E at the middle landing of the stairs, W at the bottom. W throws them up to the landing and E throwing them back down {not really a latest thing}. Most recently, E is beyond thrilled that they can both bike together. They do laps around our complex in the evenings while I make dinner.

Speaking of bikes..during their Friday afternoon bike ride, W took off Ezra's training wheels just to see what would happen. He did well, but isn't tall enough to comfortably put his foot on the ground to stable himself. But he's still excited about it and wants to try again. You can just see the pure excitement on his face!
{please don't judge...he's been dressing himself so I don't have much say when it comes to his outfits now. So, that would be his 4T "What happens in Gpa's garage, stays in Gpa's garage" t-shirt that you may have mistaken for a gray sack on top.}

I picked up a chapter book of sorts at the library: Thomas The Tank Engine Story Collection. That's where most of Ezra's kids' pop-culture comes from--books {and a few movies}. Anyway, it contains all the stories written about the trains and E is loving it. Lots of words and a few pictures. I'm impressed that he wants me to read them. 

E is now in diapers only a night and mostly wakes up to a dry diaper! Definitely not at all painful. Thank you, EC, for a easy job! At least, that's where I'm gonna give credit...it had to have played a big role. :)
Theo is almost 7 months and isn't close to crawling. I now am mind-blown that Ezra was already crawling and into solids at this point. At the time, I didn't know any different. Now, I know. I'm thankful for my slow-growing baby!

I started a fire in our  kitchen over the weekend. I was making onion rings and didn't read the instructions all that well. We all know that W is the seasoned one in the kitchen. {ha, so puny}, but I thought I had this. Anyway, I got the oil hot, poured the batter in and then a 1/3rd cup water. So absurd, right?! The batter and water should have been in a bowl for dipping before the oil. Yeesh! Well, W was right on about people only do that once: the water with oil and heat thing. Thankfully, the aftermath was only topical. W helped me clean up after the boys went down and then made the rings. He had me do the last few to get over my fear. :)
Our weekend was a delightfully lazy one. Bacon, eggs and homemade bread breakfast. Walk to the market for strawberries. Once the rain set in, we really didn't feel like going anywhere else. We had a fire. Watched a movie. Read some books. Cleaned house. I started to tackle the mocking pile of laundry, W fixed our dishwasher. We had a crock-pot chili and Yorkshire pudding dinner by candle light.

I've been loving our family dinners lately. It's so fun to have three fully participating members now {with the fourth still present, don't ya worry}. Ezra re-lives parts of his day and it leaves W and I in laughter. It's so amazing to me that he's speaking in paragraphs now. Limited still and sometimes needing interpretation of others' present at the scene but so so so endearing. The other day he was telling me about his bike crash with Papa and he pretty much had my whole heart melting. His eyes sure say a lot. I can tell just by looking at them that he's got so much to say, but there's still that lag to getting the words out. Sometimes, he stops himself mid-sentence as if there's so much up there to sift through before saying it.

We're finally building a family budget. We're meeting with my parents and drawing one up. I know what y'all are thinking...we've been married for four years and just doing this now?!  And one half is an accountant? And the other with two accounting parents?! So sad. Better late than never though, right?? We're using a program/app that Wes & Carolyn told us about long ago and we really like it so far. Super easy and free to use and always accessible. I already can't believe how much we spend on groceries of all categories! And we aren't organic peeps! Is there any consolation prize since we don't go out all that much? {doubt it.} Makes me long for a garden all that much more!

And I'll leave it with a picture of my newest old love. In its newest spot. I  may or may not have already used this a few times this week. :) I still cannot believe I've gone this long without really knowing how and when to use one. I feel like everyone else has been holding out on me, either that I'm the lamest person for just discovering it now. Can we also file this fact under "better late than ever?" too? I swear I knew more than just how to boil water when I got married...{maybe not too much over that...}. Heh. I'm trying to figure out how to girl-ify it since it really can be called mine now. ;)

Monday, March 26

I Made Bread

More baking last week...

I've been at a loss about what to blog about really. Our days are pretty ho-hum. Which is just fine with me. 
{because crazy toddlers always come out of the washer, huh?!}
{some body needs a second hair cut...}

 Just add flour, salt and yeast. I used a combination of these two recipes: here and here.

It's still up and down around here. Well, I'm really only talking about me. I've been kind of melancholy lately. Pity party?! Maybe just a little. But every girl is entitled to them every now and again, right? {I only say 'girl' because in my very limited experience, only my girlfriends seem to share this with me...}
Add warm water.

Cover for 3-5 hours.

Divide into 3rds. Roll into balls with floured hands. I baked each one in a round ceramic.

Cut and serve warm with lots of butter. These little hands kept coming back for seconds, thirds...I had to cut him off.

With the second and third loaves, I folded in some honey before baking. I think I'm going to experiment with flax-seed next round.

Something so deeply satisfying about making your own bread. Even a super easy recipe.

Monday, March 19

Bailey's Irish Cupcakes {Weekend Recap}

We had a great weekend; full of fun nights and lazy indoor days. The weather has been rainy, windy, and chilly lately. I had a really great night out with Elizabeth. It was a much needed night of uninterrupted time to talk. And talk we did. We closed out the restaurant which is a first for me. ;) The following night, W and I celebrated St. Patty's Day with a night out on the town. A special thanks to our lovely babysitters for making that happen.

 Sunday after church was a super lazy one. The boys vegged, and read books. E watched a movie and W did some more job research while I decided to bake something yummy. William had picked up some ingredients the day before to make cupcakes so I went with that.

The recipe I found also included Bailey's butter cream frosting...absolutely amazing! I decided to go all out by adding green dye and white stars. I even used Will's piping bag to practice my lacking icing skills.
William's Kitchen Aid mixer now has a permanent spot on our kitchen counter. That thing is super heavy and I've had to pull it out of the cabinet above the refrigerator too many times in the past 6 months.

I have a series of unfinished projects laying about the house...including this new one I started but ran out of spray-paint primer. It didn't help that it was way too cold to be outside or in the garage for this one.
Goodness. I'm having some serious ADD with projects lately. Such is life, lately. Slightly disorderly. And I'm not even going to tell  you about our landuary status...

Friday, March 16

Operation: Get A Job {Update}

So, I left our journey off on a sad note earlier this week. I feel the need to update now that some things have happened. The biggest of which: William has a job. As of this week. The bad news: it's temporary {a month}, and he's definitely over-qualified. The good news: he has a job! :) As well as: he gets home at 5pm {what?!? that actually happens?!}, it's local, within accounting, and he's actually getting additional software experience to buff up his resume! Woot woot!

Although I think we're only at the beginning of this {potentially long} journey, it's been so wonderful to see how thoughtful, tender, and encouraging our friends and family have been to us. {Thank you again, Ruth, for your encouraging conversation!} Having a solid support system has made going through this bearable. W has had some great conversations with men who've been here before when they had a young family. My girlfriends have been praying for us and one, Elizabeth, recently lent me a beautiful album by JJ Heller. Um, instant fan. So many of the songs speak perfectly to where we're at. I basically have the track on repeat whenever I'm in the car...so much so, Ezra knows some of the lyrics now.

This week has been more about letting go, for me. Letting go of what the future holds and whatever plans we had for the year. I can honestly say I have no clue what the future will look like. And now there is no illusion of control. I've also been grappling with the difference between plans and dreams as well as how those align with the Lord's. Neither are inherently bad, but I feel like they may steal our joy at times. I still have dreams for our family, but can no longer really plan them out. Perhaps that's the intended joy of letting go and seeing what the Lord has? He's good at providing more than we can ever anticipate, isn't he?

 For now, I'm enjoying our everyday freedoms and God's little gifts of grace. Freedom to decide what our day will look like and who we'll spend it with. I'm still so thankful to be home with my kids. The freedom of a two-day weekend. The gift of this temp job. Trying to live in the moment without thinking five or ten steps ahead. Surprisingly, this week has been super smooth with the boys. I delight in the fluidity of  "daily life", even if the kitchen is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm tired, and my hair is in a pony all week. The rain, reading books, seeing friends, playing ball, extra time to make yummy meals and cozying up with my two boys are really the bees' knees.  Life is short, but it is also wide. I'm thankful that there is a lot to take in even within the boundaries of every day life. I'm excited to see how the Lord will work in our lives both internally and externally in the up-coming months!


Thursday, March 15

St. Patty's Day Reads

Since Saturday is St. Patrick's Day, I thought I'd share some of our reads from the past week to prepare for the Irish holiday. 

Serendipity by Tobi Tobias


Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are by Dr. Seuss


Fiona's Luck by Teresa Bateman

Too Many Leprechauns by Stephen Krensky

Make sure to wear green!

Wednesday, March 14

One Thing Leads to Another

I scored some free pallets about a month ago that have been sitting in our garage since. They were waiting for me to pick something from all the great projects out there. Then I was inspired, not by pinterest, but by a window display while on a walk through our local downtown. Yay for seeing it in the real world! I had W create a pallet canvas of sorts by showing him this tutorial and then off he went to make his own version. 

While in the process of finishing the project, I was stumped on how to get my words onto the wood. Mod-Podge? Wood glue? Stencil? Craft paint? Free hand? I was at a loss so I decided to test a few of them....which actually turned into a whole new project that I'm sharing now. Distracted much! {More on the original pallet art later.} For now, it's on to this side project...
I started with Mod-Podge because it seemed the easiest. I got out three extra boards that W had left over from the original, cut some words out using my mom's cricut, and tried it out.
 I found out that the glue changed the color of the wood, even after it dried, so I covered the entire board with the stuff. Then I placed my letters out and covered it with a second coat.
It was super easy and I loved the mod-podged wood better--it looks so rich!
{before+after}

 While deciding on the phrase, I had an up-coming bridal shower I'm co-hosting in mind. I'm actually hoping to turn these wood planks into a wooden sign post and after the party, eventually put it out in our backyard. Hurray for multi-use pieces!!

Tuesday, March 13

Discovery Museum


With our first full weekend back as a whole family, we did what any family would do under the sad, jobless circumstances....use a coupon and have a family day!

We decided to go last minute so we spent maybe two and half hours there. Seriously, not enough time at all. We probably just barely hit half of the museum. And it was awesome! We all enjoyed it and were amazed at all the cool things it had to offer {well, maybe except Theo since he didn't really get to participate.} I looooooooved the castle sculpted from branches. William loved all the cool things to climb on {such a boy still} like the old boat. Ezra really seemed to enjoy the tot area, especially the little river. 

Can't wait to head back and check the rest of this place out!

Sunday, March 11

The Short and Long of It

The Short: William was terminated 

The Long: I just got back from taking William some lunch. We were at home and I was getting lunch for E, when W called with the bad news. I got that nasty pit in my stomach where I could barely keep up appearances before getting Ezra off to bed. Utter shock. The sinking feeling where you can't concentrate on anything before you. I waited for him to get home. We talked together. Cried. Sat in silence. And cried some more. 

It seems the firm has a habit of over-hiring in the hopes of growing each year. For several weeks, many of the new hires were doing tax work because there simply wasn't enough audits to go around. They let go of W and another. Sounds like if they hadn't made the cut, there wouldn't be enough work for the rest of them in a few weeks. The last time they hired {two years ago}, they started out with twelve and let go of seven. They are probably not done with this group yet.

While it was such a shock, W couldn't say he was surprised. His performance review a few weeks before wasn't stellar, but most of the newbies were in the same position. This career has a steep learning curve and a lot is thrown at you the first year. In fact, W and a few others even talked about what they would do if they were let go. It was hanging in the air. Many of them were worried about how slow they were working/understanding the process. And in this position, time is money.

It's been a unique experience to share with my husband. We've never really had to face a "big trial" before or hit a "bump in the road". Sure, we had an extremely high maintenance baby once, were poor while he was in school and have had our share of disagreements...but nothing that's floored us. Nothing that's made us say, "What now?" and "How long will this last?"

And as much as this hurt/still hurts, it's been really cool to learn more about my husband and the way he thinks. We are so different in that way, yet still understand each other. I go through the "what-ifs" and "if-only" and he remains clear-headed and confident about what's happened. I've been asking him a lot of questions to learn more about him since he's such an internal processor. And he's been patient with me as I process out loud. That first night we found out--as we went to sleep-- I asked W if it was odd that I actually felt relieved. He said no because he felt the same way. Seems like it just wasn't quite the right fit yet.

 The mourning still isn't over, but we are ready to pick ourselves back up, dust off, and soldier on. While it's been really nice having my husband back, I didn't envision getting him back this way. Dwelling does nothing. Now, it feels like we're heading down this path in complete darkness. Darkness about which way to go. Darkness about when doors will start opening up. But my SIL, Ruth, was onto something when she encouraged me with the fact that the Lord does great things when we've finally reached our end. And truly, we only know a very very small piece of this story. He knows and writes it all. There are moments when I'm faithful to lean on his promises and other times, not so much. I've already had to repent and ask for forgiveness from W. All part of the refinery process, eh?!

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still
-- Exodus 14:14


If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me to night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
--Psalm 139: 11-12


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10



***********
Author's note: I really didn't want to write a post this soon. I'd prefer to wait until William had better leads or better yet a new job. Staying silent until then is easier, isn't it? "We were at such a low point then but now it's so much better." or "We were struggling and confused then, but now we're as good as gold." Sharing weaknesses like that is easier too...when we're strong and confident again. W has a few weak leads but nothing that equals what he had. But as W prayed at dinner that night, we do not find our worth through what we do, what we have, or who we are, it's through what Christ did for us on that cross. He's made us whole and clean.

I want to be honest on this little blog. The Swensons have nothing to hide. I've always loved the motto "What you see is what you get." And this just happens to be where we are in life, currently. However, it will be nice when we can look back on this time and chuckle about life's fickleness. And how we learned yet again of God's grace and love.

Tuesday, March 6

6 Months

 1/2 a year! This milestone always gets me...only 6 more months until you're a YEAR! So sad!! This last month was harder than most. But we managed to get through it. You and your brother got this cold thing called RSV and it really was no fun. You were not a fan of breathing treatments and it broke your Mama's heart when you'd have your coughing fits at 4 am. In addition to your first sickness, it was also your very first hospital experience when we took you to the ER. Here are the better things from this month...

**You LOVE the exersauser and johnny jumper {your Papa is in heaven!}. It's so adorable watching you bounce and bounce and giggle in them. 

**Teething? There were a few weeks this month where naps and nights were rough. :/ No teeth yet though.

**Sitting up really well for extended periods of time before leaning back to the ground

** Can roll over from back to stomach and stomach to back now with ease

**LOVE playing with toys and grabbing them during tummy time

**Moved into 9 month clothes

**Grab at whatever I'm holding now if I'm also holding you

**Pull out your binkie and play with it whenever your hands are free

**Mastered new noises: sucking in air while making noise, sticking your tongue out while making razzes

**Still such a great eater! Not easily distracted although you've started to grab your cover when we're in public. I have to hold your free hand to stay modest. ;)

**We now wear you facing front and on our back--sure makes life a bit easier when you're on my back!


Friday, March 2

March Mantle

I wasn't planning on doing anything much for March. I pulled out a few things that work and re-dressed our mantle. And that's about it.
 The mantle started with my glitter shamrock garland from my teaching supplies...
Then I pulled out my yarn wreath and a wooden frame from the garage..
Then I filled in the sides with things from around the house, a free print, and E's latest art project.
And that's that.

Beyond a bowl of Lucky Charms, I don't think we'll be celebrating St. Patty's Day much. Will you?